After a competitive swim lesson, Stewie tries to destroy his rival by blowing up the lifeguard tower. But when his plan backfires and he has a near-death experience, Stewie turns to the bottle to numb himself. A bizarre chain of events leads Stewie and Brian on a road trip to San Francisco, where Stewie confronts a guy he believes is his real father. But when it turns out he's actually Stewie in the future, Stewie gets a glimpse of his dismal adult life and realizes he must return to his own time and rewrite history. Meanwhile, Peter's rants on everyday irritations become a new hit segment on the Quahog Nightly News.